No one wants to be in an out-of-control meeting, or on a project team that's spinning its wheels. That happens a lot, though, often because the leader doesn't want to be bossy.
The first thing the military teaches young leaders is this: When in charge, take charge. If you're the leader, do your job. That doesn't mean bark orders like a tyrant. Taking charge means a few simple things that anyone can do, but until someone does them the team is going nowhere:
1. Set the focus - here's what we're working on right now.
2. Keep everyone on task.
3. Draw out opposing viewpoints - ask for objections.
4. Give everyone a chance to be heard.
5. After all input is on the table, make the decision, if one is required. You're the tie-breaker.
Symbolism helps a lot. Take the head seat at the table, or stand. You've been put in charge, so let them see you take charge, not for your benefit, but because every team needs a leader.